Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Divorce Coping Strategies

When you first got married you probably never though the word “divorcee” would be used to describe you. Most of us get married under the assumption that we will spend the rest of our lives with the person beside us in the aisle. The reality is that things don’t always work out. People change, life happens, people grow apart. Sometimes, two people were never quite right for each other but they tried to make it work. Sometimes, one partner strays or gives up on the marriage. Whatever the circumstance, divorce happens. While divorce can be very hard emotionally and mentally, know that you will come out on the other side. Below are some tips on how to overcome divorce.

#1 – The Grieving Process
It is important to understand the end of a marriage can feel like the death of a relationship and should be treated as such. Regardless of the circumstances of your divorce, recognize that you do need to time to grieve the loss of your marriage. The grieving time needed will vary from person to person. Only you know when it is appropriate to put your marriage and divorce behind you and move on. That means that your healing has begun.

#2 - Acceptance
No, your marriage did not work out. You could not hold onto and force it to work. Many emotions are expended in trying to “go back” in time and make a failed marriage work. One of the best ways to overcome a divorce is to accept it. Accept that your marriage did not work out and there is nothing you can do about it. Do not place blame on your spouse, or blame yourself. The simple act of acceptance will help you cope with a divorce.

#3 – Don’t Neglect You
A divorce proceeding and settlement can be drawn out and fraught with an array of emotions and stress. During this process, it is important to not neglect yourself. Stay healthy in your eating habits and continue to exercise. Stay healthy mentally by meditating, reading a good book, or enjoying time with friends and family. Indulge yourself and your body and make yourself your top priority.

#4 – This is Not a Pity Party
During a divorce it is easy to be overcome by feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, guilt, and embarrassment. But a divorce is not a pity party and don’t let it become one. Keep a positive outlook on life and remember that good things lay ahead for you.

#5 – Add the Fun Back In
A great way to overcoming divorce is to add the fun back into your life. For months or even years you have been on an emotional rollercoaster – which is no fun at all. Relax, let your hair down, and have some fun. Join a dance class, take a girls trip, or try a new hobby. There has never been a better time in your life to re-invent yourself. Why not have fun doing it?

#6 – Don’t be Afraid to Seek Help
If you are having a tough time emotionally after your divorce, acknowledge that you don’t have to do everything on your own and help is available. Seek professional help from a therapist or counselor that specializes in divorce.

All of these tips will help you overcome your divorce and move on with your new life!

1 comment:

Alan said...

These are some good tips, a lot of these tips can really help you get through the roughest parts. One thing to avoid doing is falling into some bad coping habits, especially when it comes to self medicating. These may make you feel better at first, but you're setting yourself up for a much more serious problem.

- dadsdivorce.com