Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Tips for Getting Past the Pain



A divorce can be the most stressful event of your life. Long, drawn out divorce proceedings can take a toll on you physically, mentally, and emotionally. In addition you are experiencing feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal; all while mourning the loss of your marriage. Many think that as soon as the divorce is finalized you can take a big sigh of relief and simply get on with your life. For any divorcee, they know that this is not as easy as it sounds. You need to treat yourself with care. You are grieving the loss of a marriage and a familiar way of life. Many divorcees have had the added stress of moving, finding a job, and adjusting to a new financial outlook. All of these factors are internalized and can negatively affect your body and mind.

Therefore, it is critical that you take steps to take care of yourself post divorce. Some of these may seem like obvious steps. However, they are often overlooked and ignored during this painful and stressful phase of your life. Follow the tips below to reclaim your body, mind, and spirit.

Tip #1 – Nurturing
Every day, mark on your calendar time in your schedule for yourself to relax. This can mean a yoga class, time to meditate, a long bubble bath, flipping through a favorite magazine, or talking a long walk with your dog. Whatever activity helps you to feel calm and relaxed should be done daily.

Tip #2 – Listen to Your Needs
Post divorce is the best time to speak up for yourself and get what you want. You are single, in control, and the maker of your own destiny. Don’t feel guilty for asking what you want, or receiving it.

Tip #3 – Routine is Refuge
Going through a divorce can affect many other aspects and relationships in your life. This can be very disruptive and you can feel lost at sea. Sticking to a routine can help you reclaim some comfort and reliability in your life.

Tip #4 – Keep it Simple
Post divorce is probably the worst time to make a major life changing decision. Embarking on a new career or business venture, or moving to another state can be overwhelming. You may think you are ready, but your emotions need to time to settle after going through a divorce.

Tip #5 – Avoid Crutches
It is easy to turn to crutches to help you through the stressful and painful divorce process. Post divorce, it is important that you say no to these damaging habits. Avoid excess alcohol, drug use, or overeating as coping strategies. These are unhealthy habits and will only cause you different problems.

Tip #6 – Embrace your New Life
Post divorce can be a very exciting time if you let it be. You have complete control. You do not need to consult a partner. Enjoy it! Take the dance class you have always wanted to, start a new hobby that sounds enticing, or join your local gym. Explore opportunities you have always wanted to but never found the time to.

A divorce is certainly a life changing event. But let it change your life for the better. Following the above tips will help you come out on the other side of your divorce a better person in a better place.

Photo: Salvatore Vuono

1 comment:

Alan said...

These are some good tips. I would recommend talking to any friends that have been in a similar situation, they will most likely have helpful advice.

- dadsdivorce.com